Halloween

Tomorrow is Halloween. It's sorta reflective day for me. 3 years ago, I got my first car. But anyways, Went to a bar last night. Was abandoned by my roomates because they were too tired. So, I ended up going out with my buddy Adam, his gf and one heck of an annoying friend of Adam's gf. I was of course "God's gift to Women". Had a big bow slapped on my shirt, worn sorta like a sash with a ribbon, and a card that says
"From: God,

To: Women"

My guy friends who heard I was going to do this mocked me and ridiculed me, that I was gonna get smirk remarks from women, etc etc. The usual bs I always have to put up with because noone has the balls to pull off what I want to do. Straight off the bat, Adam's gf and friend "Wow, that is an awesome costume. Original" Score 1 for Das.

Went to a "redneck" party, where its a bunch of late 20's guys, sitting around a bonfire, which was pretty much gay. After a coupla beers, and being totally out of place, I was then taken to the bar that we were supposed to go to. The usual comics, guys dressed up like schmuks, trying their best to get attention. Guys who spend a ridiculous amount of money on a costume that they're gonna wear for 2 days.(I spent 4 bucks. Last year I spend 5 bucks) The usual gainesville stuff.

Every girl that I thought was cute, I would go up and ask her what her costume was, even if it was obvious. Then, no matter what she was wearing, I gave my interpretation:

Girl "I'm a nurse."
Das "You're a naughty nurse."

Girl "I'm a cop."
Das "You're a naughty cop."

Girl "I'm a tree."
Das "You're a naughty tree."

It worked better than you might think.

I go get a beer at the bar. Bartender looks at me funny, and asks me the line I've been waiting for someone to ask me. "What makes you God's gift?" Answer : "I have 20 million dollars and terminal cancer". Score: Das 2. Bartender gives me free drinks most of the night and flirts with me. I could care less. Don't get me wrong, she was attractive, but not too smart. Beautiful house. Pity noone was home.

THe above scene replicated itself with another hot girl. I answer with "13 inches was never big enough". I'm in, she thinks I'm hilarious, introduces me to her friends, their boyfriends, and her boyfriend. Ah yes. Splendid. Well, at least I was in. One of the boyfriends bought a round of shots, and wanted a toast. I don't know why, maybe because because I hadn't paid for shit and they expected something out of me, maybe because I had been entertaining them all night, everyone in this group turned to me to give the toast.

Guy #1 "Hey, Gift Boy, give us a toast!" This statement was met with cheers from the table.
D "Uhhh...OK...umm...To myself?"
Booing and hissing rose up through the dozen or so toast participants.
Das "I don't know, what kind of toast do you want."
Guy #2 "A toast. A real toast; something funny."
Guy #1 “Yeah, come on, Gift Boy! You can do it!"

I realize that the boyfriends were trying to make fun of me, setting me up for ridicule to make themselves look better in the eyes of their hot girlfriends. That's fine. I would have done the same thing. But they obviously did not know who they were dealing with. I got up on a chair, and prepared to address the crowd.

The room got quiet, I paused for dramatic effect, and gave the only funny toast I know:

"Here’s to the women we've met, and to the women we've fucked,
And to those amongst us who've had no such luck.
Here’s to beer in the glass, and vodka in the cup,
Here’s to pokin' her in the ass, so she won’t get knocked up.
Here's to all of you, and here's to me,
together as friends we'll always be,
but if we should ever disagree,
then FUCK ALL OF YOU, HERE'S TO ME!"

I've never seen a bar erupt in a chaos of laughter as they did. I was a hero.

But so ends day 1 of halloween. My phone had been glitching on me the whole of the day, and for some reason even though I had no battery left, it was telling me I had full life, and it was constantly being recharged. Wierd eh. But anyways, pulled out my phone to get a girl's no. cos she was having a party tonight and wanted to invite me, and lo and behold my phone had died. After trusting 5 girls with my number, and for them to call me, and giving them the "I'm counting on you to call me" crap speech, I'm sitting at home at 9, still waiting. Oh well. Signing off ya'all. Hope things are well.

Break away

If melody
is my destiny
then what's left of me,
i'll give to you..
and if next to me,
is all that you need to be
would you settle for fantasy,
if it's the best you could do?

can I have my cake?
can i have you too?
would you follow me?
could i ask you to?

would the world between us,
break these ties?
we worked so hard
to realize..
can a postcard say,
what i see in your eyes?

could i ever break away?

would i be satisfied,
and find peace inside
rolling half my life
over broken white lines?

can i have my cake,
can i have you too?
would you follow me,
could i ask you too?

will i wake up one morning,
and see your face
and the streaks on the window,
that the rainstorm makes?
could you bear all the waiting,
and the strength that it takes?

could i ever break away?
could i ever break away?

can i have my cake?
can i have you too?
would you follow me?
could i ask you to?

would the world between us,
break these ties?
we worked so hard to realize..
can a postcard say,
what i see in your eyes?

could i ever break away?
could i ever break away?
away...
away..

John Mayer is a genious.

"My December"

This is my December
This is my time of the year
This is my December
This is all so clear
This is my December
This is my snow covered home
This is my December
This is me alone

And I
Just wish that
I didn't feel
Like there was
Something I missed
And I
Take back all
The things I said
To make you
Feel like that
And I
Just wish that
I didn't feel
Like there was
Something I missed
And I
Take back all the
Things I said to you

And I give it all away
Just to have somewhere
To go to
Give it all away
To have someone
To come home to

This is my December
These are my snow-covered trees
This is me pretending
This is all I need

And I
Just wish that
I didn't feel
Like there was
Something I missed
And I
Take back all
The things I said
To make you feel like that
And I
Just wish that
I didn't feel
Like there was
Something I missed
And I
Take back all the things
I said to you

And I give it all away
Just to have
Somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone
To come home to

This is my December
This is my time of the year
This is my December
This is all so clear

And I give it all away
Just to have somewhere
To go to
Give it all away
To have someone
To come home to

Actually it was quite an interesting night. So we get to the restaurant, and I meet this incredibly gorgeous girl, and I am introduced. I fail to get her name, because I am standing here not believing my luck. Tim actually got me a hot girl. And then my mind decided to come to terms with reality.

Mind: "Wait a second, it was supposed to be an indian girl. She's not indian. In fact she's as white as a canadian hockey player"

My optimistic thought process: "Maybe there's more than 1 girl Tim wanted me to meet. W00t! That's fucking awesome"

Reasonable Mind: "No wait. He called me and said 1 indian girl, and that I should behave myself"


Reality: She was in fact just a friend of the indian girl. We will call her "x" Infact she had the same name as my cousin, and wierd as it might be looked exactly like her. Hmmm. After almost completely ignoring her and focusing on hot girl, I realised hot girl had a boyfriend. So there ended my fantasy.

After that I was dragged to an indian cultural event. You know life is sad when you're indian and get dragged to an indian cultural event by someone who's from the country from Pennsylvania. Of course I felt outa place, but it was humorous, the responses I was getting from women. Everyone was dressed in Indian attire. Colorful Sari's, and the other stuff that indian girls wear. Don't know the name. And guys were wearing traditional clothes. Me, my awesome red shirt with blaring white words, and shorts.

I did get to meet a buddy of mine, who just ended a relationship with a girl. Me and him were best buddies, because both of us are indian and were the outcasts I might add from the indian society. We were also at one point of time dating chinese women. His story of the end of his relationship : She blamed him for giving her STD's. He lost his virginity to her. I couldnt help but bust out laughing. And he laughed with me till tears welled in our eyes.

But the highlight of my day came when I saw what I considered to be the most beautiful indian girl I had set eyes on on campus. I was hooked. Turned on my A game, but unfortunately she got away before I got the courage to approach her. Oh well. Another day, another time. Till then, I'm out.

Back in the game?

So, Tim felt that it was his sworn duty to try and hook me up with women. Yes, Tim. So as you could guess, I'm not going to have too high expectations. So anyways, the girl that he wanted to hook me up with, apparently we are doing a double date tonight. I thought heck I'd give it a try. Maybe she'll come out so bruised that she wouldnt want to see me, and Tim wouldnt want to ever try and hook me up. Maybe not, if she's actually "cute".

My dress code for the date: T shirt and shorts, and sandals. Uncombed, messy hair, underneathe a hat, turned the other way. My t-shirt exclaims " Sorry Ladies, I only date models". HAHHAHAHAHAHAHA. I'm going to have a blast tonite. ANd Tim is going to hate me. Being an asshole is so fun.

I realised 2 things today.
1. I feel guilty about being an asshole yesterday.
2. Being an asshole was in reality quite rewarding.

Why do I say that? I got an email back from the sponsers of the event. 4 girls put me down as a yes. Do realise I put down 4 girls for yes as well, which means, that I got a 100% success rate. However, I will not call/email these girls for these reasons.

1. I'm an asshole, or rather have become one.
2. I'm not sure if they are the girls I found attractive, and am in no mood to go out on a limb to meet them, and then be completely unattracted and then as much as I would like being an asshole, and not acknowledge their existance, I think the guilt will haunt me for a couple of hours/days, whatever, so I'll pass.

This makes me wonder. Do girls here like assholes? I mean do they really like to be talked back, and completely made fun of? Or did they think I was just trying to be funny and think "heck I'll give him a chance". Because from what I remember, not one girl laughed, and I was nearly bursting out of my seat with laughter upon their agast faces.

P.S: Might I mention that at the beginning, when the host was explaining to the guys how we're supposed to rotate, and as a joke, said "If you don't know where to go next, follow the guy in front of you". This remark could not go uncommented, and I came back with a "The last time I did that I got syphillis." I was immediate branded as "that guy", amid some snickers.
So, the women obviously knew what they were getting into. Hmmmm.

Anyways, hope everybody is doing fine in Singapore. And Wen, if you boyfriend needs any help here in the states, though I am far far away from him, do let him know not to hesitate to gimme a ringading, or write me an email.

3 minute dating anyone?

So my friend took me along to accompany him on for a 3 minute dating thing. Basically I went along for the free booze. I guess a single's awareness group was throwing this lil shindig.

So this is how it works. All the women(30 of them) sit on different tables. You have 3 minutes to talk to each girl, and then you move on when a whistle blows. Each person wears a numbered name tag, and you have a sheet of paper, where you can mark "Yes" or "No". And within some period of time, the organizors match who likes who, and emails each other the email addies.

The qualities of the women were much better than I thought it would be. needless to say, I wasnt too dissapointed. Not too many attractive women, maybe 3-4. But anyways, I digress.

See the best part about this is that you get different girls who ask you the same question again and again. And anyone who knows me, knows that I'm not too fond of routine. the two main ones being, "Have you ever done this before," and "What do you do?" I got bored, so I took matters to my own hands.

Girl "So, have you ever done this before?"
Me "No. I'm just here for the free booze."
Girl "We don't get free beer."
Me "What? You mean I paid $15 just to talk to you?!? Oh...that's a treat."

Girl "So, have you ever done this before?"
Me "Done this before? I don't even know where I am. I just woke up, I feel strange, and I think I'm missing a kidney. "

Girl "What do you do?"
Me "I'm just a bum on the street hoping to feed in the action "

One girl who was possibly more manic than me started blabbering on and on about her beliefs. Needless to say, they were idiotic. I finally had to set her straight:
Her "I definitely believe in fate."
Me "Do you believe that fate brought us together?"
Her "Oh yeah."
Me "Fate must hate you."

At the end of the thing, I realised that I had forgotten to mark down the girls for the ones I liked, so I just went off my friend's description and managed to mark off 4 I thought I was interested in.

SO I get a voicemail from Tim this afternoon.
"Hey Das, this is Tim. I just met this indian girl, her name is oh damn i forgot. But anyways, we were talking about religion and she told me she worshipped the god of destruction, whatever his name is . Well, the point of the matter is, I called because I felt she was quite cute. Sooo, Maybe you guys should get together. I'll ask Kristen(his gf who apparently knows this girl) whether she's single or not, and maybe you guys can get together."

My call to Tim
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH... No"

I swear it was the drugs again.

Songie songie I wrotie,

I just walked into the bar and I found me a seat,
When up comes this hefer with only 2 teeth,
But I'm sure she'll be pretty an hour from now,
After 2 shots of whiskey and 4 pints of stout,

She asked me my name, and I started to choke,
because I saw her face when I lit up her smoke,
She has lot of hair on the top of her lip,
So I lifted my guiness and took a big sip,

The voice from my job is leaving my head,
But the last thing I want is to slip off to bed,
Unless it's with someone who's sexy and pretty,
Long legs, nice ass and humongus titties,

I just spilt my drink on my good pair of shoes,
and lit the wrong end of my cigerette too,
I'll be more confused after I'm finished,
With 2 shots of whiskey and 4 pints of guiness.

This drunk starts to talk, and I have to listen,
He's in the next stall, and I'm not finished pissin' ,
Well, I'm not really sure what he's mumbling about,
He's had 2 shots of whiskey and 4 pints of stout,

I'm sure I'll be hungry when I wake up at noon,
Though I had a big breakfast and a healthy lunch too,
But instead of the dinner that I thought about,
I had 2 shots of whiskey and 4 pints of stout,

It's one hour later, and I'm still at my seat,
When up comes this woman, as fine as can be,
She said she met me when I walked in the door,
So I looked at my guiness and ordered 4 more!


Ta-da, the marvels of pain relievers!

Oh yea this is wonderful. I'm in lab working on my project, and suddenly I hear a "crack". Hmm, in about 2 seconds, I find my back in a ridiculuos amout of pain, and i suddenly realise I can't sit anymore because it hurts too much. I try to stand, and woah-la!! I cant feel my legs and immediately crash into the ground. Afdter being carted away to the hospital, and treated and being diagnosed with some sort of disk problem(I wasnt paying attention, was in too much pain), here I am stuck in the hospital room, with a lappy free of charge, constantly on pain killers and doped up. YAY!

Life seems to have taken an unexpected turn. Well, starting today it'll all be different. I got it all out of my head, and I've decided to start anew. New women, New attitude, new job, new clothes, the whole shindig. I start to wonder, what If I had actually called Paris back. Sure it would have been a 1 time affair, but at least I would have been basking in the life of a celebrity for that time.

If there was one thing I gave Ting, it was complete and total independence. I never asked where she went, and if I did, and she refused to mention, I never intruded. I never asked her tell me where and who she was going out with. If she called me after a long night, I would simply ask if she had a good time. Maybe it was my mistake, maybe I should have been more forceful, but I know she's too independant and driven for me to even attempt that.

But life always throws us twists and curves, thats why we learnt to steer. We learnt to dodge. We learn to pick ourselves up.

This one time, I was riding my bike, and fell. My dad rushed over to me, and asked me, "Darshan, why do we fall? So we can learn to get up" And now it seems that advice will be well heeded. If i spelt heed right =)

For the first time, I feel free, inclined not to do something because I have an attachment somewhere else. Also Ting, in case you were wondering, I did not want to take you skiidiving because I was afraid, I would lose you to some random mishap or more so, I was afraid you might not follow a certain safety protocols, since there are lets see, something close to 12-13. . I was so afraid, I did not tell you, and let it pass. But anyways, I can go join the CIA, I can go work anywhere in the friggin world if I can find a job, I can save my money so I can buy myself a car.
I can start dating.

But anyways, I hope everyone is doing well. My mind and my heart is a mess right now, but Halloween is coming, and hopefully we can make a visit to some doctor nurses parties. For now, I'm signing off.

P.S : And everytime "your song" by Elton John, or "Your body is a wonderland" by John Mayer, or "Amazed" by Lonestar, be rest assured that I will be thinking of you. No matter what happened I guess you will still have a small place in my heart.


I guess I said some things in hate, and in total despsise that I shouldnt have. Sorry to the people that I hurt. Sigh. Sometimes I do hate myself.

Darling, those tired eyes
Go with me all the time.
And in the dead of night
Tell me you will be mine.
Where do you go to, pretty baby?
Where do you go to, when the night wins away.
Ask me so sweetly, what do I do?
Who do I sing for?
Well honey I sing about you.

You.