Life seems to have taken an unexpected turn. Well, starting today it'll all be different. I got it all out of my head, and I've decided to start anew. New women, New attitude, new job, new clothes, the whole shindig. I start to wonder, what If I had actually called Paris back. Sure it would have been a 1 time affair, but at least I would have been basking in the life of a celebrity for that time.

If there was one thing I gave Ting, it was complete and total independence. I never asked where she went, and if I did, and she refused to mention, I never intruded. I never asked her tell me where and who she was going out with. If she called me after a long night, I would simply ask if she had a good time. Maybe it was my mistake, maybe I should have been more forceful, but I know she's too independant and driven for me to even attempt that.

But life always throws us twists and curves, thats why we learnt to steer. We learnt to dodge. We learn to pick ourselves up.

This one time, I was riding my bike, and fell. My dad rushed over to me, and asked me, "Darshan, why do we fall? So we can learn to get up" And now it seems that advice will be well heeded. If i spelt heed right =)

For the first time, I feel free, inclined not to do something because I have an attachment somewhere else. Also Ting, in case you were wondering, I did not want to take you skiidiving because I was afraid, I would lose you to some random mishap or more so, I was afraid you might not follow a certain safety protocols, since there are lets see, something close to 12-13. . I was so afraid, I did not tell you, and let it pass. But anyways, I can go join the CIA, I can go work anywhere in the friggin world if I can find a job, I can save my money so I can buy myself a car.
I can start dating.

But anyways, I hope everyone is doing well. My mind and my heart is a mess right now, but Halloween is coming, and hopefully we can make a visit to some doctor nurses parties. For now, I'm signing off.

P.S : And everytime "your song" by Elton John, or "Your body is a wonderland" by John Mayer, or "Amazed" by Lonestar, be rest assured that I will be thinking of you. No matter what happened I guess you will still have a small place in my heart.


I guess I said some things in hate, and in total despsise that I shouldnt have. Sorry to the people that I hurt. Sigh. Sometimes I do hate myself.