The voice inside my head says

The past couple of days have been hard on me. Got stuck with food poisoning, and finally making some headway toward recovery.
And the last 2 days I had time to reflect and this is what I realised:

I miss picking up the phone to call you. I miss having someone to talk to amongst all my troubles. I miss laughing, and being totally happy. I miss the way you talk so softly into the phone, and having to decipher what you said without asking you again. I miss looking at my watch and wondering what time I should call you. I miss the fact that I cant think of you before I go to bed and right after I wake up. I miss the way you call Cappy "Cappy-py"
I miss having you design my projects. I miss you taking my notes. I miss the way your hair feels. I miss knowing what cologne to wear out because you like it. I miss writing emails everyday. I miss being motivated and knowing what my goals in life were. I miss taking care of myself and my body because I always wanted to give you the best. I miss thinking that in 4 years I can give you all that you want in your life, everytime I read your blog. I miss that I cant be the one waking up next to you. I miss the fact that I could say I was settled when thinking about my future.And most of all, I miss you.

Marriage and proposals

Tonite, I got to talk to my parents and sis who are vacationing in India at the moment. Apparently a lot of my cousins are getting either engaged or married, and this has tempted many of my nosy relatives to ask for my horoscope etc (because thats what indians do to see if you can find a girl that matches your horoscope, and that's how they arrange marriages). At first I thought it was a joke, and then I talked to a few relatives over the phone, and to my horror, i realised it was true, they were looking for a girl for me, trying to set me up. So, after laughing like a madman at their ridiculous statements, I decided to set things right. I ask dad to hand the phone back to each of my relatives and I said the following to them "stay the fuck outa my life. I can find my own fucking girl. I'm not gimped and dont need other people to set me up. And I'm not fucking marrying an indian girl If I can help it either"

Needless to say my parents would like to disown me, but fuck em if they wanna. I've got enough money to make it on my own.

How I "outdid" myself

Saturday night was truely the night of my calling. I managed to pull off what my friends who were out with me called "A miracle". To do what I did on Saturday night is the coup de la grace of collegehood, what every guy in college dreams to do, what he aspires to become.

My friends, on saturday night, I managed to get my whole table free drinks, and vip treatment for the whole night. If you are wondering how I did that, well, combine the words bartender, owner, and someone who owes me a big favor into a sentence, and there you have it.

Either way, it was a very hushed affair, and only those who had come out with me that night got this treatment. No women outisde of this circle were allowed to know or partake in this festivity. By any chance, I also did something most guys dream about happening to them. Well, I had 4 girls on sat night ask me for MY number. It was quite wierd, But anyway, I thought they were full of shit, but true enough last night I got a call from a couple of them. Of course, I usually ignore an unknown number, so I only knew it was them through voicemail.


Ahh its so fun being me sometimes.

Went to my favorite country bar last night to demostrate my awesome Line Dancing skillz. Usual crap, got free drinks from the doll behind the bar. See the thing I ahte about going out with my guy friends is that when they see me get free drinks, They ask me either,

1."Dude how'd you do it?"
First why the hell would I ever give away the secret to my success. No magician ever reveals his tricks. Its not as cool when everybody can get free drinks is it?

2. "Can you get me a free drink?" This is the one that really gets me going. Go get your own damn fucking free drink.

On a different note, I finally got a lil list of things to do short term.

1. Buy a guitar.
2. learn to play the guitar.
3. Go to class more than once a week.
4. Quit world of warcraft in 1 month.
5. Get a part time job.
6. Continue my awesome gym routine. ( woohoo for almost 6-pack abs)

She

Today, I got an email from her. Made me a very happy man, and perhaps made my day. Sigh. Wonder how long I can live like this. heh. Maybe I'll stop being a prick for a day as well.

The mall.

I was exciting the mall today, when i realised some lady was being carted away to an ambulance. I noticed her face was showing some sign of pain. And I said to her the first thing that came into my mind. "Shop till you drop eh?"
HAHAHAHAHA. I'm such an asshole

Rach

So last night, I spent about 3 hours talking to a girl I knew in singapore, one of my few female friends remaining there. In our conversation, she asked me what she thought was the most important quality in the relationship I had. Without any doubt or oause, I stated that "she made me happy"

2 seconds after I made that statement i almost broke into tears, not because it was true, but because of how matter of factly I had put it, even though I never thought about it, that was the best part of my relationship. My counterpart, made me happy, made me happy to live my life, made me happy in the way I was doing things. Sigh.

Norah

Been in a relaxed and subtle mood today, worked out, skipped classes, caught up on sleep, and Listened to some Norah Jones. Ah what a sweet voice she has.

If I were a painter
I would paint my reverie
If that's the only way for you to be with me

We'd be there together
Just like we used to be
Undertneath the swirling skies for all to see

And I'm dreaming of a place
Where I could see your face
And I think my brush would tak eme there
But only...

If I were a painter
And could paint a memory
I'd climb inside the swirling skies to be with you
I'd climb inside the skies to be with you

Why my schoolmates hate me

So, after spending about 2 weeks on vacation, mainly just from school and classes, I decided to make my epic return. Of course, i was chided and made fun of for not coming to clas, etc by my friends. TO add insult to injury I had also missed 1 exam, 2 quizzes and 3 homeworks. ( i pretty much have 3 classes to go to. One that I dont care about cos Das> Thermodynamics, 1 at 8 30 in the morning Monday, Wednesday and Fridays, and 1 Class tuesdays and thursdays.) What makes my classmates hate me? this is the description of sequents of events, and all conversations are verbatim of what occured.

After morning class, during professor's office hours:

Das : "Hey Dr Correll"
Correll: "Hey Das, how are you?"
D: "Alrite, and yourself"
C: "Good"
D: "Well, I'm in here today, because as you may have noticed, I havent been to class in about 2 weeks"
C: "yes, I did notice that, you missed an exam, an a quiz and a homework, what happened?"
D: "Well, 2 weeks ago, I had no drive to go to school, or to do anything for that matter. It was a very confusing time in my life, and I always belive that you have to have your heart and mind in the right place before you do anything, and since neither were on school, I did not come"
C: "Ah ok, I totally understand, but what would you like to do about your exam, quiz and homework"
D: "Make it up?"
C: "Hmm, alrite tell you what, How about I jsut excuse you for the homeworks, and the quiz, and you can take a make up exam right now?"
D: "yea sure"

15 mins later, I'm done. Easiest exam ever, obviously she made up the questions on the spot...

D: " Thanks Dr Correll"
C: "Please call me Melanie"
D: "Thanks Melanie?"
C: "Not a problem"
D: "Oh yea before I forget, hmm, I cant make it to class on wed and fri, because my buddy that picks me up, is going to a conference outa town, you know Adam?"
C: "Oh not a problem, but where do you live?"
D: "Just west of the mall"
C: "You know I could come pick you up if you want to"
D: "Uhhhh.sure"

She gives me her phone number to call on wednesday morning so she knows how to get to my place. Unreal? Just another day in my life.

Yesterday and Today

This morning, as one of those days I actually felt motivated to go to school, I actually ran into an old collegue of mine. When I saw her, I automatically waved. She looked at me, gave no sign of recognition, and walked by. I was confused by this, and called out her name. Upon hearing this, she turned around, squinted at me(even though we were 5 feet away), and immediately recognised me.

Shelly: "Oh Das, wow it's beena long time. Wait, what the hell happened to you? You look like you've been run over by a train"
Das" Hey Shelly, it's a pleasure always, but what the heck are you talking about?"
Shelly "Das, you look horrible, not the guy I used to know"
Das"huh? Theres absolutely nothing wrong with me"
Shelly "Ah ok, how are things going"
Etc etc etc.

You see the thing is I have been vehemently denying there is anything wrong with my appearance the past month or so. As a reality check, I decided to compare a recent picture with that of 4 months ago:



heh, I was quite amused. But anyways, I digress:

5 minutes after I found out how much money I made, I wrote the blog, and I was the happiest man in the world. 15 minutes after I wrote the blog, I was the saddest man in the world. The series of consequences that caused this:

1. Calling my parents, and then realising that I have to pay for my tuition next semester, which was no biggie, I had already expected this.

2. My friends finding out, and then telling me they are glad because now they don't have to lend me their cars or drive me anywhere. Which also I expected.

3. (the one that caused 95% of sadness) Realising that I have noone to actually share my happiness with. There is noone in my life, that I would be willing to give up all my money for(except my sis).

Now that really hit me hard. Suddenly feeling lost and lonely, I started towards a downward spiral of depression. But my female friends, no matter how far away they are, always seem to have a knack of calling me at the oppurtune moments just randomly, and somehow, I managed to regain my compusture for today, and find some amusement out of the situation.

But this was the lesson learnt:
Money can bring immediate joy, but it's when you can actually share it with someone that you can experience prolonged happiness.

More money No problems

So, I ran into a little financial bump the other day. I realised the dwindling in my account status. Let's see now. What would any normal person that has little money in the bank do? Hmmmm.
Find a job. Das= Not a normal person. As most people know, I like taking risks, especially when I'm not tied down to anything or anyone per say. So, I decided to take my life savings, yes another bundle of mula, and put it into say "high risk stock shares" Of course, this is considered suicide in mordern society, but in Das' life its just another day at the park. Risk of financial ruin? Sure bring it on, I'll just get over it. As it turns out as it often does. I made money, not little bit, not just a sufficient bit, but let's say higher end of the 5 figure mark. Or rather, just think of a number between 5-8 and add 4 0's after it. Lets see now:

Big Bold and flashy?



Thrilling and adventurous?



Boring but Practical?



Decisions decisions decisions. Sigh. Anyone that knows me well enough already knows what I'm gonna pick.