The last few days I've spent depressed and dissapointed. This semester really took all of it out from me. My drive , motivation, and happiness. I feel completely void of all feelings. In fact I didnt feel an inch of emotion when I learnt my grandma whom I was pretty close to had passed away. Why? I dont know. I'm still trying to figure that out. I dont feel like doing anything for christmas, just sitting at home, wishing life would just work itself out. I used to take life by the horns, but I feel like that matador that's been completely caught offguard by a bull, and trashed all along the arena.

When i think about what lies ahead I am completely disgusted. I hate studying. I hate college. I just want to start work already. I hate having stupid money problems. I hate having to worry bout my test grades. I want a chance to do this semester all over again. I would change so many things that I did. Retrospective thoughts seem to be of no use unless you want to learn from your lessons. But doesnt seem like I learnt anything, just lost a part of my soul.