Hindsight

I was sorta looking forward to sending her flowers on valentines, until I realised today that it really wouldnt ve in anyone's best interest for me to do so, and the first thing that came to mind was that I saved $50. And then I realised what a selfish person I had become. I mean I guess I dont really owe anyone anything, but I'm getting too old for this shit. I really should be making upwards of 100k a year by now, but I am somewhat content with my 50k a year job. I dont know, I guess life isnt a bed of roses but I'd like to feel like it was, and I'm definately just falling and not caring whether its the thorns I'm gonna be falling on or whether its the petals.

notes about myself.

Someone linked this to me on my facebook, but Its not as private as my blog, so I decided to post it on here instead.

1. My favorite show at the moment is definately planet earth. There is no other show that captivates me as much as this. Maybe its my 50 inch plasma tv, maybe its the fact that I like to get high before I watch it, either way.. amazing.

2. I like doing extreme things. Drive a car at over 180 mph. Done. Motocycle? Done. I've been bungee diving, sky diving, god knows how many times. I really want to do a new form of extreme diving called vampire diving. You wear a suit that stretches in between your thighs and arms. And I suppoise you jump off a cliff or something, and the sheer momentum of the fall forces you into a glide at like 150 mph.

3. My mom used to tell me that I always got another injury before the last one healed. I think I've been staying true to that since I learnt to walk.

4. I dont really believe in luck. Or karma.

5. Or god.

6. I love buying clothes. I can spend hours at the mall, just picking out clothes, if I could spare the time. Money is usually never the deciding factor.

7. I hate going back home to visit my parents. I just dont like being constricted and I despise the limited freedom I get.

8. I dont think I will ever date an indian girl again. I feel like I've seperated myself so much from the indian community, that there is almost nothing I have in common with them.

9. I am an asshole. I used to be a really nice guy. I dont really regret it. With regards to women, what they say is definately true. Women love assholes. And its only because when you treat a girl like crap, they feel like they have something to prove to show you otherwise. Example : I am a total douchebag to the girls I work with. For my birthday, I got a collective ~ $500 worth of shit, + at least 8 bday cards + surprises(home made cookies, brownies) at work. Of the 15 or so other employees that work with me, nobody else got any sort of similar treatment and most have been working there for longer than me.

10. I am not really sure if I will ever allow another girl to get close to me again. Sometimes I think about how emotionally detached I have become and I am proud of myself. I dont think anyone will ever break my heart again.

11. I have a weakness for girls that are what I call "Show stoppers". There are attractive girls, there are hot girls, there are beautiful girls, there are head turners, and then there are show stoppers. Usually these come with daddy issues( daddy loved her too much/didnt love her enough) and having the quality mentioned in no. 9 comes in very handy for this situation.

12. I really miss playing cricket. I think it was very unfortunate that I only got interested in it with I was 16 or so. I'm 99% sure that I could have turned it into a professional career.

13. I believe in happiness before success. People at work always ask me why I dont move on to bigger and better things. I always tell them, that bigger and better isnt necessarily happier.

14. I believe in personal happiness before anyone else. I think my parents have a very hard time understanding that I will always put myself ahead of anyone else. This is probably also why I do not want to go back home. my views and beliefs are so different from theirs, that any sort of reasonable arguement from my part results in my mom telling me she cant believe that we are of the same blood; to which I usually have an impartial response that sends my mom into a uncontrollable sob during which point I hang up the phone.

15. My favorite fictional character off all the movies/books/comics I've read/seen or heard of is definately James Bond. I think it's only because I feel he is the only one I can relate to in terms of emotion, and character.

16. I am a narcissist.

fried ice cream

I made fried ice cream at work today for the first time ever. Considering i got bum rushed by every girl that worked tonight, I think I did a great job.

Another perfected dessert under my belt. Sweet.

Long time

It has been a long time since I've made a post. One of those random moments when I come back from work, and im like hey, let me update my blog. Not reallly sure how many people read this anymore, considering I havent updated in 6+ months.

So, after a salary job with Du pont for 3 months, I quit, because I found extremely boring, and I didnt want to be trapped ina cubicle for the rest of my life. Packed my bags, moved back to gainesville, and picked up a job as a dishwasher at aa asian cuisine restaurant. I'd never worked at a restaurant before, so I figure I'd get some experience. 6 months later, I am a sushi chef/assistant manager of the joint, and I'm making almost as much money as I did working salary at du pont. I cant really say I'm satisfied with my life at the moment, but I am happy. Bills get paid, I'm having a ton of fun. Unfortunately, I'm not really sure what I want to do with the rest of my life. Any sort of attempt at another salary job for the next 6 months will be a miss, since there is no fucking way I will pass any of the drug tests. Reminds me of my modeling days, except worse. Drugs have become the substitute for alcohol these days. Although, some of the long term effects of cocaine/marijuana are much more subtle than alcohol, I still feel sort of feel bad for abusing it. Oh well, I suppose I have to live with my choices. Hopefully some day I will wake up and it will hit me, as to what I'm supposed to do with the rest of my life.

And then there are the girls. I actually have to see a phsychologist for my female problems which stem from one single problem, an over inflated ego. I'm never satisfied. It's almost inhumane for me to be nice to any girl that I am interested in. I dont really have a problem picking up girls, its keeping them thats the problem. Its almost as if I have female ADD. As a close friend of mine told me once, "All this because some girl came along and broke your heart, am I right?". SHe was probably right, but I'd definately not like to think so.

Anyways, Ciao.

I was in African(Off the border of Nigeria) this past week, and some of the things I saw really shocked me. Did you know the rebels cut off the breasts of child brearing mothers so they cant feed their own childern. I mean.... WTF.

Some people have a tainted view on religion...

http://www.schneier.com/blog/archives/2007/01/huge_online_ban.html


=D

Almost exactly 3 years ago, I watched Oceans 12 with a certain someone. Hopefully she still remembers what I said, and what she had to say in return.

hmmm

Hey folks, been a while since I checked in.

Today i found out something magical. As you guys know, my cat Cappy, is my little baby.
Shes the best pet ever. Unfortunately, she hates it when you give her too much atention, and she hates it when you dont give her any. She has different ways to get attention, from jumping on your lap, to whining like no tomorrow.

Now my favorite thing to do when i come back from school/work is to hug her cos shes just so damn cuddly. 100% of the time when i do that shes starts making funny noises and whining. Today however was different. FOr some random reason, i started singing the rockabye baby lullabye. when I picked her and she knew what exactly i was gonna do she started whining, but the second, i started singing she stopped. ANd then i ran out of lyrics , and there came whe whining again. SO I started singing Creed- lullabye, and it stopped. I was pretty shocked by this, and it definately made my week. I love my little goosie.

On other news last weekend I went to some western bar and some guy didnt like me, pulled a knife on me and sorta tried to stab me multiple times. Fortunately, I got away with minor lacerations to my abdomibal region. Fucking asshole, now they will never show my body off as the most flawless in human civilization. Didnt I quit my last job to get away from that kida stuff?
Haha. Take it easy guys.